Proximity is a fundamental component in the law of attraction. With most workplace environments comprised of both male and female adults who spend 8 to 10 hours or more per day within the same four walls, and in the proximity of the same people working shoulder to shoulder, attractions and romances are sure to develop. Marital statistics show that the average age of marriage is increasing which means more young workers are likely to be single.

In 2005 SHRM and the Wall Street Journal’s CareerJournal.com conducted a study and found that 40% of employees surveyed said they had an office romance at some point in their careers. In a 2007 Vault.com survey 41% of employees said they didn’t know if their company did or didn’t have a policy on the issue.

In a January, 2007 survey conducted by Spherion the following data was collected: 47% of workers ages 30-39 said they had had an office romance. Of the 50-64 year old workers the number of office romances went down to 31% even though this group had been on the job longer. Younger workers, ages 18-24, were least likely to avoid dating a coworker, and most likely to make their relationship public.

The effect of office romances on other employees is also notable. Coworkers, and supervisors are not comfortable working with associates that are involved in a romantic relationship. It is distracting, covert, and creates a negative ethical perception—often because it is supposed to be a secret—which puts added pressure on coworkers who are ‘in the know’. It therefore is no surprise that over 50% of those surveyed by SHRM/CareerJournal.com said such couples should receive a formal reprimand from management. What is surprising is that only 36% of HR professionals favored the idea of a reprimand.

A whopping 70% of HR professionals said their company had no official verbal or written policy on workplace romance according to the SHRM/CareerJournal.com study. Of the policies that did exist 20% permitted workplace relationships while 31% did not. 48% permitted but discouraged on-the-job romance. Some companies simply lump the office romance issue into a broader ‘code of conduct’ policy requiring disclosure of relationships that could be considered a conflict of interest.

Getting employees to go public with private feelings is not easy and often will occur only if the company has a healthy, respectful culture. Most people involved in an office romance believe that the only way for their relationship to continue is to have one or both of the participants leave their current job, find employment elsewhere, and thereby avoid the entire issue and stigma.

People are people. Office romances have and will continue to occur. Having a specific policy in place demonstrates to employees an awareness of the issue, informs them on the position of the company and what is expected of them. Further, a policy gives leeway to supervisors to intervene. But if history has taught us anything, words on a piece of paper become an afterthought to a well aimed wink and smile.